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Primitive Brain

Hey Grandma. That primitive part of my brain wants to throw a tantrum like a toddler or protect me as if a lion is in the room, ready to attack,  signals that need to change. Retraining such a primitive place seems scary and something I do know anything about, despite years of study for this.  Now that I have been asked to do such a thing, that primitive brain wants to over ride all control centers and make me believe I should freak out and quit. 

So here I am, just sitting with you Grandma, reminding myself I can slow down and just take this one moment, right here, right now. 

I have been taking this course, teaching me all about my brain and how to retrain the neurocircuitry to decrease my chronic pain and to feel it only when its appropriate to feel pain, not hypersensitive to incorrect non-pain inducing stimuli.  Something my brain is very confused about.

Because of this hypersensitivity my primitive part of my brain wants to convince me I need to feel pain from many things, thinking its protecting me, when it really isn't. My brain thinks its protecting me, when really, it is just hurting me.

Any input our brain receives, it keeps record of it and remembers, "this caused you pain before" and when that stimuli happens again, that part of the brain recounts it and creates pain, saying, "I will protect you from receiving harm again."  It is a great part of our brain when we are in real danger, but what about when we are not in emanate danger? Over time the brain creates a bucket list of "dangerous" possibilities, when they are not dangerous at all. 

The primitive brain is alerted prematurely and it is in overdrive, creating pain, when pain should not be a problem.  Over and over again, just throughout one day. 

I have to use other parts of my brain to quiet that "danger" part of my brain down, which seems daunting. This will be one of the biggest fights I will ever have to fight.  Staying mentally strong to take control of the centers I need strong and reassuring the ones that need to back off. 

How have I allowed my primitive brain to become so strong and other parts of my brain to become weak? This is natural when dealing with chronic pain. I need to view this as a challenge, not a threat. 

Primitive brain, can you hibernate for a while and when you wake up I'll teach you how to function differently?  I wish this were possible. And because it is not, that is why it is so hard to overcome. Somehow I need to know how to talk back and allow the other parts of my brain to grow stronger. 

I can do this.  I am afraid.  But I will do this.  I know my future does not have chronic pain in it, and knowing that, I know I will figure this out. 

So today, I start talking back and loving that part of my primitive brain and helping it to feel safe so it doesn't feel the need to constantly need to protect me.  If it wants to protect me, it must be trained. Because if I leave it to its own devices, I will never find control and overcome my pain.

Thanks for listening Grandma, love you, love you, love you.     

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